Reflections on first year of mamahood.
The face of complete excitement…..or not?
We recently celebrated Kylila’s first birthday, a big milestone many would say. It was a reflective time, spending many hours reflecting on how much happened in this year, while feeling serious nostalgia on how our baby is no longer technically a “baby". Whatever, logistics are overrated. She forever is our baby right :)?
Before the party my husband and I were debating if/or how we should celebrate. I try to make sure whatever we do is meaningful and not for the sake of pressure or expectation. Does a 1 year old even understand a birthday? No…. clearly. But can we still do something small that celebrates life? Why not.
So we did. Dressed her up as her favorite food “bateekh” in arabic, watermelon, and had a fun time with some friends sharing all things Kylila. Family from around the world wrote her notes which were transcribed and shared, in efforts to bring worlds together. Sure she can’t read nor does she get it but one day when I miraculously arrange a beautiful scrapbook (not my forte) hopefully meaning will be restored for future memories.
Lessons learned after graduating this first year of parenthood:
Change happens so fast! No day is predictable. Just as I think I’ve figured something out , a new adventure awaits! Being a mama has made me such a good student ;).
Asking for help is so important, and nobody gets any special rewards for self sacrifice! I was NOT good about getting help the first few months, thinking I should be super mom…but as a result my healing took way longer and my quality time was compromised.
Balance…finding that balance of personal life, work, mamahood is always challenged. But wherever I am, I try to BE THERE FULLY. Admittedly I am always a work in progress.
Life doesn’t have to stop just because there is a baby, but I embrace adaptations. Lounging in every weekend can be super fun :).
Practicing gratitude keeps me grounded. I try to start and each day writing or sharing how grateful I am to be safe, healthy, and blessed with a family. Whatever comes, bring it on !
The concept of “accomplishments” have shifted and I keep having to check myself and “social pressure” of what achievement means.
Purpose is tested…and so are labels. Labels are dangerous! A mother, a teacher, a daughter, a wife, a sister a ………..I’m still just me….a new revised 2021 version :)
I’ve learned to accept all the emotions…as they each are learning points on what is happening inside. Hiding and brushing away sadness is not “mindful” nor healthy.
One door closes another opens! C’est la vie :)
