Home of the brave and land of the free
As I write this now, I am exactly 40 weeks pregnant. Today is the day that has been echoing in my mind for the last few months, with great anticipation. Yet in reality there is no doctor or future teller who can say when this life in me will make her grand debut. The suspense is real, and the anticipation harder than I thought, but I'm doing what I can to be mindful in the moment. Embracing these last moments in my life before an inevitable complete shift. What will motherhood be like? I have dedicated over half my life working with children, and I have always felt a strong pull towards young curious minds. I love that they are still free from conditioning early on, and speak their truth without fear, and evolve in such staggering speed. It has always been the biggest honor helping to shape these precious minds as a teacher. I wonder how it will be as a mother?
For all my childhood, finding and embracing my voice has been one of my biggest struggles. Living in America, land of the free and home of the brave, with strict immigrant parents who were so scared for us to lose our identity as Lebanese, made finding a balance of freedom and bravery a constant struggle. The fear they had translated over to me, and manifested in some challenging hurdles. Yet these hurdles are now my blessings, they are the proof that we all can overcome that which holds us back. I know my parents did everything in their power to be there for me and my siblings, and though at the time I had resentment towards some of their choices, I only have gratitude now, as I know those hurdle strengthened my resilience, and helped me find my voice.
I make a point to teach and lead a life of embodying a growth mindset in my classes as its such a pivotal life skill. Challenges are what make us grow, evolve and change. Last week I decided to do something I have never done before, in honor of this baby girl, and to model what I preach as a teacher. I faced my fear of performing an emotional song written by my husband about our turbulent love story, in front of an audience. I don't sing, and I've never performed in a public setting. However, I boldly agreed to do this as I hope one day this will be a message for our baby girl that there are no limits to when to challenge fears and choose bravery. You can be super pregnant, and still be brave, bold, and confident. Because why not?!
Just serendipitously, this same girl who was nominated most bashful throughout middle school, and too scared to speak up most of my adolescence conquered another hurdle today. I have been working on an online positive education and mindfulness course for the last few months, which I'm hoping to share internationally, and it just worked out that it got approved today as well! So I guess I did give birth to something new, just not what I initially thought :). Life is full of beautiful surprises.
Fear is the opposite of freedom, and the better we get at embracing that which scares us, the more we evolve into a more fulfilled, nurtured, and confident person ready to tackle the world with a smile :). Motherhood will likely be the biggest life challenge yet. I can't wait to see what new hurdles I will have to cross, and I can only hope to lead with a brave and open heart and mind.
